Smack my bitch up (song by the Prodigy)

Poor old Mac, a victim of domestic violence, unbelievable. Perhaps he should whack her back - in a proportionate way that is. Worth a try anyway. Maybe that's what she wants subconsciously (or even consciously). Some people prefer conflict and even violence preferably to a void of non emotion. I read somewhere once about a lonely woman confessing to going out and seeking arguments with people because even that was better than no human contact at all. We are all strange in our own way, thank God. I got hit by several women in my life, 6 or 7 perhaps and I can't say I didn't deserve it. Three of them I didn't respond to, on account of that deserving thing. Two of them hit me a second time so I hit them back but not very hard and only slapping to signal I didn't want to get hit a third time. One night in the hostel I ran in Cork, Ireland. Wintertime and late at night - just me up. Doorbell rings. Drunk Irish woman mid 20's. No money and wanted a bed for the night. In a very calm way I suggested to her that perhaps before she went out drinking, she might have arranged for a place to stay, or at the very least kept some funds back for a taxi home, or a hostel bed. She immediately kicked me straight between the legs, for fucks sake. Fortunately my gonads were unscathed and I immediately kicked HER between the legs. She burst into tears and I felt really bad. I took her into the hostel and made her tea and told her I was so sorry for what I had done ( which I was) and put her to bed. I cant remember if I saw her in the morning. The only time I hit a woman first was in Australia. This guy I knew invited me to this party. There was only about ten people there. I got into a conversation with this English woman whose party it was. Her boyfriend was working a night shift. We were sat on the floor facing each other and were both pretty drunk. What had started out as a friendly discussion deteriorated into some serious acrimony, to the point where she was hissing at me like an angry cat. I kinda lost it and grabbed her jumper, pulled her towards me and slapped her (quite hard) across the face. I got up and looked at the guys in the room to see if any of them were going to attack me but every one was kind of stunned and silent. I stormed out of the house and got about a hundred yards up the road before realizing I had left my almost new Levi's jacket behind . Oh fuck I gotta go back, shit. By this time I had calmed down a bit but thought if I have to go back in this house I had better still be angry, so I wound myself back up again. I got back to the house and banged on the door. Door opens and I brushed past the woman who opened it without saying anything. I went into the living room, and there was no-one there. It was deserted. What the fuck is going on I thought in my still drunken stupor. I went back into the hallway where the woman who had answered the door was still clutching the door handle with a look of shock and horror on her face. It was then I realized I had got the wrong house. I put my hands in the air and backed against the wall away from her and shimmied along the wall out the door telling the terrified woman that I had got the wrong house and that I wasn't going to hurt her . All this time she said not a word. I eventually found the right place, got my jacket and got the fuck out of there as fast as possible before the police turned up. Thank God that woman's boyfriend wasn't at home. I could have got killed.
Mac was a pretty good looking guy and should have had been scoring with lots of those gals, and yet? Some things in this universe are a mystery. Actually a lot of things.

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